Operator:    'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller:     'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '

Operator:      'What sort of trouble??'

Caller:     'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. '

Operator:     'Went away?'

Caller:     'They disappeared'

Operator:    'Hmm.  So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller:    'Nothing. '

Operator:    'Nothing?'

Caller:     'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type. '

Operator:    'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller:    'How do I tell?'

Operator:    'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller:   'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator:     'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller:    'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type. '

Operator:     'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller:     'What's a monitor?'

Operator:    'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.   Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller:    'I don't know. '

Operator:    'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that??'

Caller:   'Yes, I think so. '

Operator:    'Great.  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller:    'Yes, it is. '

Operator:    'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '

Caller:    'No. '

Operator:    'Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable. '

Caller:   'Okay, here it is. '

Operator:   'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. '

Caller:    'I can't reach. '

Operator:   'OK.  Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller:   'No. '

Operator:   'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

Caller:   'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark. '

Operator:  'Dark?'

Caller:    'Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. '

Operator:   'Well, turn on the office light then. '

Caller:   'I can't. '

Operator:  'No? Why not?'

Caller:   'Because there's a power failure. '

Operator:   'A power . . .  A power failure? Aha.  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller:    'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet. '

Operator:   'Good.  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it; up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from. '

Caller:   'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator:   'Yes, I'm afraid it is. '

Caller:   'Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?'

Operator:   'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'


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