Cold is a relative thing . . .

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in South Dakota plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Sioux Falls sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in South Dakota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Oahe gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in South Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in South Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die.
South Dakotans close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in South Dakota get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in South Dakota are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in South Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
South Dakotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 (-459.67 F below zero):
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero, zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in South Dakota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
and last not but not least.....
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
South Dakota public schools will open 2 hours late.